"I promise to..."

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Genesis 2:24

Two words can change a person's life forever. When a couple falls in love and says "I do" nothing is ever the same as it was. The "I" becomes "we". The "me" becomes "us". There is no self anymore.

I still say "we" sometimes. I still have conversations with people as if Kati is still here with me. I mean, she will always be part of me so, in a way, she is still here with me. But when you talk to people about "us" when you are by yourself, those people might start wondering if you have split personality or something. So I try to keep that part of the conversation just in my head and have to think about the proper pronoun to use.

The basis for any relationship should be a feeling of love and having another person care about your well-being. The basis for any marriage should be a feeling of unconditional love and doing everything within your power to ensure the other person's well-being. Love is a powerful emotion, the most powerful. The Bible in Ephesians tells "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Christ gave himself, all of himself, his life and his death for the church. The church is not a building made from wood, steel and concrete. The church is people... God's people. Sinful, shameful, unworthy people are who make up the church. Christ died for these people. For us, all of us.

Death causes separation though. Without the resurrection, Jesus' death would be meaningless. We would not be able to have communion with God, live with Him in eternity, or feel the presence and power of His love for us. Because of His resurrection our physical separation from God is temporary. Because of His death our separation, as Christians, from each other is also temporary.

As humans, we take things for granted. It's in our nature to get complacent when we feel comfortable. One thing I have already learned in this short time of separation from Kati is that you can love, live and learn how to be "us" as much as you possibly can, but when "we" becomes "I" again you realize just how much you love the other person. It's when life gets uncomfortable and unfamiliar that we start to really look at our life past, present, and future and see what we could have done and could being doing better. I'm not married anymore but two words still changed my life forever. Kati may not be here physically for me to "love and cherish" but that doesn't mean I still don't. I do.

So while as a married couple "til death do us part" means separation, as Christians that separation is only temporary.